Tuesday, September 20, 2011

short stories

NOTE: Many of these stories are complete horseshit that will just make you angry. Look for the "triple star" (***) rating to know which ones are worth reading.

***"The Muppet Ranch"
***"Sing Meatbags, Sing Medicine Angels!"
"Merry Slotsmas"
***"Kickstart My Bad Life"
***"Let's Get Killed"
"Team Babies"
"Where the Bottom Is At"
***"Tower of Silence"
***"The Goods"
***"Dinner Pro"
***"The Super Secret International American Time Box"
***"Gene Smoke"
***"How to Get Laid for Zero Dollars and Zero Cents"
"We Have All Been Hurt by Television Actors"
***"Fear Boys With Dolls"
***"Famous People Don't Care"
***"Wedding Toast"
***"Role-Playing Game"
"A Tense Situation and a Chainsaw"
***"Oh Boy"
"The Puke Bet"
"Benjamin's Abomination"
"The Gas Bet"
***"The Polecat"
"God's Big Thumbs"
"Total Eclipse, Starring Hurley Moon"
***"My Summer Vacation"
"Book Lover"
"Lead On, Blood-Black Footprints"
***"Always Rape the Last Coke Machine"
"Needy Greedy"
***"The Famous and Expensive Breathing Technique"
"Hi, Men"
"Little Tin Box, Filled With Sins"
"Jiva Squeeze"
"Vunly Spunktial Rellunctionshump"
***"What Was Stuck in the U-Bend"
"The Man Who Was So Poor That He Could Not Stop Crying"
"Down Sub Suicide Slaves"
"An Omelet for Demon Joe"
"The Hard Window"
"Smash the Fast, Fast Popsnake"
"Imagine My Ass"
"Year of the Famine Dogs"
"The Stars Hold and Hold"
"My Psychic Baby Was a Werewhale"
"I Am France"
"The Instrument"
"How to Panic"
"Fear of Children"
"Grandpa Tells a Story"
"Arms, Legs, and Money"
"The Ballroom Game"
***"Own Your Own Hands"
"The Time Tree"
"The Haberdasher's Daughter"
"Bones in the Pumpkin"
"Powder Girl"
"Friday Special at Jiff's Texas Barbecue"
"Jawhole Downs"
"Xed Out"
"The Laziest Kitten"
"Zipper Sting"
***"Under Fat City"
***"Kid Busts Loose"
"Levitating Talc"
***"Yes, We Have Those"
"Wendy, the Snake, and the Man Upstairs"
"Quiet, Sexy Nights Alone"
"Gotta Go Get Cut"
"Cheerio, Citizen 17"
"Easy Souls"
"Dab of Honey"
"Interview with Angus Morning"
"He Came to Work"
"Selective Service"
"The Second Labor"
"A Posteriori"
"A Bad Investment"
"Blue Ones"
"That Bitch, The Sea"
"A New, Better Daddy"
"A Splinter in Your Palm"
"The Gates of Paradise"
"Rat's Star"
"Sehr Fischartig"
"Teeth in the Tail of the Snake"